Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Commas, commas everywhere, and not a drop to think

Another article from the local campus paper caught my eye today. This one is about a local Habitat for Humanity project. My wife volunteers and serves on one of H4H's committees and I remember working together on this particular house, so this article about its completion was of particular interest to me. Hopefully the house itself was better inspected than the article, as the latter is littered with random commas.

The next Cleveland County Habitat for Humanity project, begins Aug. 15, and volunteers are always needed and welcome, Cox said.

There is absolutely no need for that first comma. In fact, it is distracting, as it separates the subject (albeit a somewhat long, complex one) from the verb.

Another sprinkling of commas in this article appears only in the print version. The caption on one of the photos states:

The Johnson family was forced to move into substandard housing when, Jojo, who suffers from Down Syndrome, was diagnosed with leukemia.

The so-called "corrected" version of this caption in the online version is itself fraught with comma errors:

Habitat for Humanity volunteers made it possible for Jojo, his father, Joseph Johson to move-in to their new home.

If you were to look at this sentence completely outside of context, there would be no way to tell who these people are or how they are related. Are they 3 separate people? Is JoJo the father, or is his father Joseph Johnson?

Put simply, the two individuals listed here should be separated by 'and,' not a comma, and the appellative needs to be set off by commas. Thus we need "JoJo and his father, Joseph Johnson, to move."

And then there's the use of "move-in" as some sort of compound verb instead of a noun! Why did the author feel a need to use a hyphen there? There is no reasonable explanation.

Sources
Print: "Sooners aid in new family home." The Oklahoma Daily. 28 July 2009, p. 1.

Online: http://oudaily.com/news/2009/jul/27/sooners-aid-new-family-home/

Let's see you cut-and-paste your way out of this one!

Sometimes mistakes are so obvious, you have to wonder how they made it through to print. Especially when it's in print media which should have thorough editors. For example, this introductory sentence from an article in the OU Daily:

Check out this sentence from C the best-selling "The Angel's Game" by arlos Ruiz Zafon: [...]

This seems to be an obvious case of cut-and-paste tug-of-war between the author and the editor. One wanted to put the Zafon's name before the book and one wanted to put it after.

Interestingly, in the online version of this article, this error has been corrected and Zafon is named before the book:

Check out this sentence from Carlos Ruiz Zafón’s best-seller “The Angel’s Game”:

Sources
Print: "Inexplicable plot twists and too many metaphors sink 'The Angel's Game.'" The Oklahoma Daily, 28 July 2009, p. 4.

Online: http://oudaily.com/news/2009/jul/28/book-review-angels-game/

Friday, July 24, 2009

King-sized errors

I found the following quote in an entertainment blog. This particular article is about the NBC show Kings.

And are resident David (Christopher Egan) is just a boy raised on a farm turned solider.

What does this even mean?

The most aggravating mistakes are the ones that make it impossible to discern what the author intended. The intent behind typos and the common affect/effect type errors is easy to recognize, but this one is more of a puzzle.

This quote follows the author's background on the show, describing it as a modern-day rendition of the story of David and Goliath, so I believe here, he's referring to "our resident David," but unless he was using some really bad voice-to-text software to dictate this article, there's just no excuse for this!

Source: http://unwind.host-it.ou.edu/?p=1474

Thursday, July 23, 2009

You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means...

The local campus paper has done it again:

Even though Adrian Peterson made a trip to his old stomping grounds this past weekend to coach children in the fundamentals of football, he said that coming to Norman brought back memories of his days as a Sooner.

That introduction "even though" implies that there is some kind of contradiction coming. Here, that is not the case. Preferable would be something along the lines of "When..."

Source: http://oudaily.com/news/2009/jun/29/peterson-reflects-sooners-career/

Hello, Peter Molyneux.

Another one for the affect/effect homophones category. This one comes from a Joystiq article about Wii Sports Resort.

The original Wii Sports currently resides in like, four out of every five households on the planet -- why wouldn't the Japanese gaming populous spring to consumer action when the MotionPlus-bundled follow-up landed on store shelves?

The problem here, though, is that 'populous' is an adjective, whereas 'populace' is a noun. So, more correctly, it would be 'the Japanese gaming populace' which springs to action. This mistake makes sense especially in the realm of video games, as there is a game called "Populous." Thus, the term could come to be associated with the game and be perceived as a noun.

Source: http://www.joystiq.com/2009/06/30/wii-sports-resort-sells-over-350k-copies-in-four-days/

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Who's this Jacksonis guy?

Michael Jacksonis dead.

This is the introduction to a Kotaku post about Battlefield Heroes using Michael Jackson's image following his passing. Not only did they omit the space after his name, there are actually two links in that sentence. Go ahead. Look for them. You'll notice that the first link ends and the second begins where the space should be. This is a rather forgivable mistake, as the space likely got lost in a jumble of HTML, but this is what proofreading is for! Just give it a once-over before you post!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5304402/battlefield-heroes-cashing-in-on-michael-jackson

Update: This has now been corrected.

Insane in the membrane!

I hope you don't think I'm picking on Kotaku today. These are all older articles that I have, until now, been unable to write about. I'm just trying to catch up, honest!

In this article, Brian Crecente wrote about the upcoming Batman: Arkham Asylum game. A rather lengthy article, it contained quite a few errors. First, a simple typo:

Due out in August, the build I played was set to me in May to help me judge the game for an E3 Game Critics award.

Then, the dreaded run-on sentence, though in this case, only the period was omitted.

Every time you take out a bad guy a camp of bats appear and swirl around him for a second Initially it looks kind of neat, but the effect quickly loses its charm.

The English language is quite complex. Verb tenses tend to be among the most difficult part. Here, Crecente uses the simple past tense where a past participle is required:

These simple single-button attacks are all weaved together with a heavy reliance on timing and the ability to shift between targets by moving the thumbstick in different directions.

Again, dealing with verbs. In English, the use of the infinitive and the heper/modal verb 'like' requires the particle 'to.'

I'm not a huge fan of stealth, it's not my style and I don't like have it forced upon me.


And finally, we have one final small typo:

The game features voice work by Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, Tom Kane, and even Mark Hamil;l as The Joker.


Source: http://kotaku.com/5302101/batman-arkham-asylum-preview-a-thinkers-brawling-game
Another one from Kotaku:

While the prequel was heavy on the hand-held camera, REC 2 employs camera mounted on the soldiers' helmets. It's a bit like watching a first-person-shooter.

This almost sounds like Engrish. We need either an article (employs a camera) or a plural (employs cameras). Frankly, based on the plural, soldiers' helmets, I would expect the latter.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5280847/this-spanish-movie-looks-like-some-first+person+shooter
Working on some old stuff today....

In a Kotaku hands-on with God of War III, Michael McWhertor had this to say:

More satisfying it the battering ram attacks one can pull off, picking up an enemy and barreling through a crowd of rotting Centurions.

I can possibly forgive the 'it/is' confusion here, it happens to the best of us. What strikes me, though, is the fact that this is further complicated as an 'is/are' problem. The subject of the sentence is clearly the plural 'battering ram attacks,' which would require the plural verb.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5280444/god-of-war-iii-hands+on-half+goat-half+lion-half+snake

Friday, July 17, 2009

Prototype

From a Joystiq early hands-on of Prototype, a great game that I'm playing through right now, comes this post:

The meter yellow when everything's normal, but it will fill up and turn red if you do anything suspicious, like running up the side of a building or consuming someone entirely.

Looks like they forgot a verb again, eh?

Also, a slight factual error:

In Prototype, you're the extremely powerful (and scary) Alex Mercer who can take out tanks and helicopters with a couple of punches before you flash back to the start of the game where you wake up with minimal powers, 18 hours earlier.

In fact, the flashback portion is 18 days earlier, though this could have changed since the review was done.

Source: http://www.joystiq.com/2009/05/22/joystiq-hands-on-two-hours-with-prototype/

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I don't usually write about style problems here, but this one is an affront to linguists everywhere. Written on a Marvel.com post about the superhero team the New Warriors:

Who doesn't love a hero who gets their turbo-powered fan-suit accidentally at a costume party by accident and then goes on to be a pretty great hero in her own right?

It just hurts to hear that "accidentally by accident" garbage here. This is another one for the Department of Redundancy Department.

Source: http://marvel.com/news/comicstories.8693.Take_10~colon~_New_Warriors
As football season approaches, so begins the commentary and speculation on the upcoming season. The OU Daily, local campus paper is already talking about possible Heisman candidates:

So, will this year be any different? Will we have the second player in history to win the Heisman, or will a new player hoist the trophy in December?

Again, we have a perfectly fine sentence, aside from the fact that it is completely inaccurate! There have been numerous winners of the trophy already. What they meant was "second player to win the Heisman twice." Huge difference there.

Source: http://oudaily.com/news/2009/jul/09/tradition-could-give-heisman-mccoy/
Sometimes, rather than some "simple" grammar mistake, blog posts are just wrong. Take, for example this Kotaku post about the upcoming Champions Online open beta:

The open beta will commence next Monday, August 17, and will run 24/7 until it closes.

The only problem with that statement is that next Monday isn't August 17th. By my watch, today is July 9th, so August 17th is more than a month away. Check your facts, people!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5310519/champions-online-open-beta-kicks-off-next-month

Update: The article has been corrected to remove the "next Monday" descriptor.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Another one from way back:

In a Resident Evil 5 related post, Kotaku reports that a cosplayer was arrested for his militant garb:

Great costume! So great that the local authorities were altered when the gun-brandishing masked-HUNK walked into a store.

But am I the only one who doesn't believe that the authorities were "altered?" Unless the costume really was the precursor to a zombie-virus outbreak, that is. It's much more likely that they were "alerted."

Source: http://kotaku.com/5279495/cops-called-over-resident-evil-cosplay
I'm going to be catching up on some old posts I've been meaning to write, and hopefully that will help me get back into a regular schedule. So here goes...

Dipping back a full month to the E3 press conferences, Joystiq wrote the following about Tony Hawk and the introduction of Natal:

But Microsoft's John Schappert he likely wasn't caught by surprise.

There is definitely something missing here. At a minimum a verb - "John Schappert says/claims/announces/etc." Perhaps a more formal "according to John Schappert..." Either way, something is wrong with this sentence.

Source: http://www.joystiq.com/2009/06/03/activision-got-the-heads-up-about-project-natal/